By London Road Station I Sat Down and Wept
You weren’t sure about watching Dawn of the Dead, but it was early in the relationship, when we were constructing little moments for each other. You wanted to watch it because I’d said it was my favourite movie. I should prepare a better answer for that question. I said not to worry about it, but you insisted. We managed about an hour before you stopped, saying it was horrible. You laughed that such a nice person liked such a bleak film.
For weeks now, I’ve been watching zombie films on my phone as I commute home from London, skipping the gory bits so my neighbours don’t complain. I’m not watching for the violence. I watch because I’m tired of commuting and I wish I lived in the film’s world. A world without commuting. A world without offices. I would still be grinding out my daily survival, but at least the stakes would matter. I’d love to stop commuting but I can’t pay the mortgage on our tiny flat with a job that’s closer. It feels like my only way out is for zombies to take over the world.
When the train pulled in tonight, I got as far as the red benches on the platform and had to sit down. I don’t want to come home irritable and tired again. I want us to have time to enjoy a meal together. I want the zombies to give us more time together. The world outside would be bleak, but our relationship would be like it was when we started.
And that is why I’m so late, and I hope that you understand.
Background
Another strand of stories that I’m writing for this collection is about the boredom of office life. I’ve been working in offices since my early twenties. Back then, I saw this as a temporary inconvenience on the way to ‘better things’, and chafed against it. I was probably insufferable both as a colleague and an employee. Nowadays, I get a lot of fulfilment from work, but I still remember how trapped I used to feel.
The main character of the office stories will be Toby, but the narrator to this one is Roger, who also turned up in last week’s Lucid Waking.
Recommendations
Paul Watson is a Brighton-based artist who works with drawing and photography. I first found his work on Twitter, and bought his book England’s Dark Dreaming (which includes an excellent introduction from David Southwell). He has a blog (RSS) and is active on Mastodon. Paul also edited the zine series Rituals and Declarations.
Paul’s artwork engages with myth and legend, and he is currently working on a long project, Acid Renaissance: Albion’s True Standard Advanced. He regularly posts his work-in-progress, as well as thoughtful blogs about being an artist in the social media age.
My favourite post of his is Is it easier to end capitalism than to imagine the end of capitalism? In this, Paul starts with the famous quote about how “it is easier to imagine the end of the world than it is to imagine the end of capitalism” and talks about the divine right of Kings, and how defying that was unimaginable for Gerard Winstanley. It’s an inspiring piece.
You can follow Paul through his RSS feed, or by signing up to his newsletter.