The job was boring but easy to get - all Kenny had to do was send a copy of his driving license to a PO Box. Afterwards, a man with a dry, husky voice phoned to give some instructions, then said that Kenny would be posted some keys. Each morning, he was to pick up an ice-cream van from a layby on the industrial estate. Several stops for his route were given. A railway car park. Some waste-land by the river. An overgrown picnic area on a dual carriageway. The edge of a new housing development. The van contained no ice-cream. That dry voice had been firm: he should keep the windows closed and the interior lights off. He should use the chimes occasionally but had to ignore anyone who came to the van, even irritated and angry fathers demanding that their child be sold ice cream. Each morning, the ice-cream van’s glovebox contained that day’s wages. Kenny once tried skipping a remote stop from his run and they'd known – that dry husk of a voice telling him off for ten minutes because he hadn’t stopped by the reservoir. Kenny was reminded that the money was good, very good. It wasn’t enough to settle his uneasiness about why he was paid to do something so pointless. He told his pub friends that the new job was deliveries, and they didn’t ask questions. The rent was paid, the evenings were his own, and the phantom ice-cream van made its stops.
Background
During the period where interest rates fell to near-zero, there were lots of weird start-ups that promised huge profits from ridiculous business models. This resulted in strange things such as the millenial lifestyle subsidy, where companies were losing money to get customers - or restaurant owners buying their own $24 pizzas from companies selling them for $16. There’s something weird and haunted about making a living from something that makes no sense.
Recommendations
I’ve fallen in love with my local cinema. It’s in a lovely old building by the canal, that’s just over a century old. It’s owned by the town council and run as a not-for-profit, which means it programmes a wonderful and diverse selection. It screens a monthly horror classic and lots of international movies. It also plays the latest films, a week or two after they leave the multiplexes - which works perfectly, as it means I can choose whether to see them after I’ve heard what people thought.
On Sunday, there was a screening of Hollywoodgate, a fly-on-the-wall documentary about the Taliban. It followed the head of the air force after he took over the American airbase. It’s a deeply strange film - we see area inside the base which would not normally be recorded, and we listen to candid conversations from the Taliban.
Some people have compared the film to The Office or What We Do in the Shadows. Sometimes these men do seem ridiculous. Other times I found myself feeling sympathetic to them, watching them going about their lives. Then they’d say something that reminded me of their evil and stupidity.
Hollywoodgate is an odd film, and I appreciated the chance to see an aspect of the world that I knew little about. It’s not currently streaming, but it’s one to keep an eye open for.
The film also includes the least expected appearance of Deadpool in a movie.
Have you read Magnus Mills' book The Scheme for Full Employment? It's the ultimate distillation of Mills' obsession with meaningless work - about a van driver who is part of a network of van drivers driving van parts from one van part depot to another.