Regular Order
The commuter's ghost was trapped in the coffee shop like a bluebottle in a box. Other customers came and went, but his order was never fulfilled. "What am I waiting for," he asked the harassed staff, "Judgement day?" But they didn't seem to hear him as the orders kept coming and more trains arrived at the platforms.
Background
This was a nightmare I had in the early hours of Saturday morning. I woke at half five, wrote this into my laptop, then read until it was a sensible time to get up.
(I know I shouldn’t have networked devices that close to where I’m sleeping, but I’ve been getting sloppy. It’s affected my sleep patterns and also given me the craziest dreams)
The actual dream was slightly different - I’d not made the order properly, and couldn’t bring myself to tell anyone that I was waiting to be served. Instead, I panicked about having to leave without my coffee, settling for the atrocity from the office machine.
My second printed story zine, many years ago, was The Legends of the Commuters, written with Dave Phelan (hi, Dave!). This built a mythology around the London-Brighton commute that I’d recently escaped. It’s one of those ideas I worried at for years, but never managed more from it than a sort of Neil Gaiman pastiche. Even a few years back, I considered a new edition that never quite happened. There was something intense and ritualistic about that daily commute to London.
Recommendations
On Saturday, I went to see The Outrun at my local cinema, which featured a Q&A with Amy Liptrot, who wrote the original memoir this was based on. Amy Liptrot lives in the same town as me, and it was a strange experience to watch such a personal movie and then to hear from the subject of it.
The Outrun is a tale of recovery. The main character - renamed to Rona, and played by Saoirse Ronan - moves from Orkney to London when her partying leads her into alcoholism. There are heartbreaking scenes of Rona’s struggle to overcome her addiction until finally she heads back to Orkney for a short stay which extends, including wintering on the tiny island of Papay. The landscapes of the Orkneys look incredible - and the seals are cute.
Addiction is a familiar theme in drama, one that is often used as a plot device. This film is remarkable for how it side-steps the safe and obvious ‘recovery narrative’ to produce something that’s ultimately more empathic.
Liptrot’s portrayal of her experiences is brave. Listening to the Q&A afterwards, I got to thinking about how I’ve avoided writing about my dark times, supressing them, pretending they’ve never happened. I write bleak horror stories about anything else but my schooldays. On a personal note, listening to Liptrot made me want to be brave with my own writing.